I'm a monster, or am I?
by SilverxEagle
Summary: Shizuo is sick of being a monster and has a breakdown. Luckily, or unluckily based on how you look at it, Izaya is here. Yaoi Shizuo x Izaya


_Dear readers,_

_I've been reading stories for quite some time now, but I haven't actually posted them. This is thus my first time. I came up with this while I was watching some doujinshi on YouTube and I though: Those two are always in a hate/love relationship, but it doesn't really stand out. I probably didn't do a very good job doing this so yeah... Also, I never watched or read Durarara! so I have absolutely no idea how they really are so please bear with me _ It should also be mentioned that every paragraph is a different POV. It is constantly switching between Shizuo and Izaya. I only put the POV's at the first two paragraphs. IT IS SWITCHING THE WHOLE TIME SO PLEASE DON'T CONFUSE THEM. In advance: Thank you so much for reading! Feel free to give me some feedback. Also, I added a little bit of nonsense in the story that is absolutely not canon, at least I don't think so._

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of this. Durarara! is owned by Narita** **Ryohgo.  
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Warning: Yaoi. Shizuo x Izaya. Those who don't like it, please go look somewhere else.**

**I'm a monster, or am I?**

**Shizuo POV**

I was sick of it. Normally I ignored it, but today was just too much. I wandered the streets without destination. Some punks tried to pick a fight with me. I just punched one of them without really looking and continued walking. "MONSTER!" they cried out. Yes, I'm a monster. A thing that should not exist on this planet. I can't even be killed. I walked past the restaurant. I think the boss said something, but I really don't care.

**Izaya POV**

It was soooo boring today! I had nothing to do. Maybe I should visit Shizu-chan. Yes, he always makes things more interesting. I rounded a corner. Speak of the devil! "SHIZU-CHAN~" I yelled. He didn't react. That's weird. I stopped in front of him. "Shizu-chan? Hellooo~? Earth to Shizu-chan~" He stopped and looked at me. I was a little bit shocked. His eyes were unfocussed and dead. "Get out of my way, Izaya. I don't have time for you today." His voice was dead too. I laughed mockingly. "Now now Shizu-chan~ I'm bored and I want to play with you~" He just looked at me with those _oh so unsettling_ dead eyes and brushed past me. I was more than shocked now. He didn't react at all. Shizu-chan always reacted no matter what.

I stumbled into that annoying flea. Even today he is here to mock my existence in this world. Ha, even he has more reason to live than I. I chuckled bitterly. After a while Izaya finally left me alone. I decided to climb on top of the school building. It was Sunday and that meant that the school would be abandoned. I sat on the roof and looked at the city. I don't belong here. I belong nowhere. I put my forehead onto my knee and closed my eyes.

Shizu-chan thought I didn't follow him anymore. How naive. I continued to follow Shizu-chan to the school. What he was going to do there I had no idea. He sat down onto the roof and put his forehead on his knee and closed his eyes. I decided to annoy him to get a reaction out of him. "Shizu-chan~ what are you doing? Come on~ I'm sooooo bored~ Do something about it~" I whined. He didn't even twitch. I stepped closer and stood in front of him. "Hellooo~ are you depressed or something? I never knew someone like you could even do that. I thought monsters didn't have feelings." At the word monster he did twitch. Gotcha. "Monsters are supposed to be invincible you know. But look at you, fragile and broken. Tell me, what are you trying to pull. Perhaps you killed someone and became drunk on blood or something, eh monst-" Before I could finish my sentence he punched me down faster than I thought and began to strangle me.

I listened to the rant of the annoying flea. "-monster didn't have feelings." I twitched. Monster. I hate that word, yet it is what I am. "Monsters….fragile and broken….killed….blood….monst-" I punched him down and began to strangle him. "Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, SHUT UP, SHUT UUUUUP!" I began to put more and more strength into my hands. I felt his windpipe beginning to bend. He was still grinning that irritating grin of his. "Did I hit a nerve, Shizu-chan?" At my name I came to my senses again. I got up quickly and looked horrified at my hands. "Nonononononononono not again not again not again….."

He was choking me but I still continued to taunt him. I felt my windpipe beginning to bend. I grinned and said: "Did I hit a nerve, Shizu-chan?" At his name he suddenly stood up and stumbled back. He looked at his hands like they where the most horrifying things in the world. "Nonononononononono not again not again not again….." I heard him say. I coughed and breathed hard for air. Suddenly he began to tremble and he fell to his knees. "Oi, oi, oi, Shizu-chan, what are you doing?" I closed my eyes, shook my head and opened them only to see tears slide down his face. I was shocked. No, shocked was an understatement. I stood up and walked over to him. I kneeled down in front of him and found myself surprised that he hugged me and began sobbing onto my shoulder. I was frozen. What the hell was happening?! After a while the sobbing stopped and I heard him say something that made my heart stop. "Please, Izaya, kill me…"

I trembled as I looked horrified at my hands. Her face flashed before my eyes and I fell to my knees. Nononononono please make it stop. I can't live with myself anymore. Someone please kill me…. I felt tears stream down my face. I saw through blurry eyes that Izaya kneeled down in front of me. I don't know why but I hugged him and began sobbing onto his shoulder. After I finished sobbing I felt so dead inside. I couldn't stand it anymore. "Please, Izaya, kill me…" I felt him tense up. I searched for his pocket knife in his pocket, unsheated it and put it in his hand. I brought my head up from his shoulder and guided his hand to my heart. I looked at him and waited with patience.

I tensed up. What? What did he just say? I felt him search for my pocket knife, unsheated it and put it in my hand. He brought his head up and guided my hand to his heart. He looked at me with such pleading and patient eyes. He really wanted to die. He began to push my hand harder to his chest. Blood began to trickle down. He looked so vulnerable and broken. Something snapped in my head. I wretched my hand away from his and slapped him. "What the hell is your problem? Where is the Shizu-chan that I get into a fight with everyday, eh? What the hell gives you the right to order me to kill you?" He looked at me and I suddenly felt so incredibly guilty. His eyes were dead and empty. I couldn't take it anymore.

He wretched his hand away from mine. I felt broken and betrayed. Wasn't he supposed to hate me and kill me? At that moment I felt the last will to live completely leave my body. I looked at him and he just stared back. Was that guilt that flashed through his eyes? Not like it mattered anymore. Out of nowhere he rushed to me and hugged me. I didn't care anyway. It was too late. I was already dead inside. He tightened his grip on me. "You stupid idiot. You stupid, stupid idiot. Who am I supposed to fight and play with everyday if you die? Who am I supposed to run away from while evading poles through the street if you die? TELL ME, SHIZUO!"

I couldn't take it anymore. I rushed to him and hugged him, hating each other be damned. "You stupid idiot. You stupid, stupid idiot. Who am I supposed to fight and play with everyday if you die? Who am I supposed to run away from while evading poles through the street if you die? TELL ME, SHIZUO!" I looked at him and saw that his eyes were still dead. He didn't react at all. I tried to think how to get him out of this trance. A thought ran through my mind and I felt my cheek heat up. I looked at his lips and back at into his eyes. Damn, no choice. I slowly began to pull him to me. I closed my eyes and felt my lips touch his. They were so soft! I pulled back and looked back at his eyes. I saw a little spark of light returning. It was working! I kissed him again and each time a little bit longer, savouring the sweet taste of Shizuo's soft pink lips. Slowly I felt his arms began to move and hug me. I kissed him again only rougher this time. I was so warm inside and out. He began to kiss me back. My little problem was getting bigger by the moment and I began to moan softly.

It was so dark and so cold. I couldn't see anything. I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't feel anything. Where was I? Was I finally dead? Did Izaya finally kill me? I felt something warm press on my lips. So warm. More. Make me warmer. I felt it again and again. I slowly began to see something, no someone. As I began to kiss back I felt the other person shiver a little. Was he cold too? I wrapped my arms around the person. The kisses became rougher and deeper. I heard the person moan and I shivered a little. I opened my eyes to see none other than Izaya.

I pulled back from yet another kiss. I was panting a little. Shizuo finally opened his eyes and they were full of life and lust. "Izaya, I'm so cold. Can you warm me up?" I shivered but nodded. We kissed again and I yelped when he suddenly touched my big problem in my pants. He began to rub it and I moaned. It felt so good. "Shizu- AH~ s-so good- AH~" He continued to stroke it. He unzipped my pants and took my underpants with them. He began to lick my dick. I felt his warm tongue and warm mouth envelope it. "AH AH n-no Shiz- AH s-so g-good~ If you- AH continue I'm going to- AH c-cum." "Then cum, Izaya. Warm me up with your milk." I felt my climax coming and screamed. "AH AH C-CUMMING~!" I felt my seed shoot out from my dick and I arched my head back. Shizuo began to lick the rest up. He zipped his pants open and I saw his impressive big dick erected. He began to stroke it against my ass. "NO WHAT ARE YOU- AHHHHH Shizuo AHH noooo, it's so big AH it won't fit AHHH~" I felt his dick starting to enter my ass and he began thrusting it in and out. "AHHH so g- AHH NYAA SHIZUO AHHHH~" He began to stoke my dick again and I felt my mind go blank. I could only feel the heat and pleasure that I was receiving from Shizuo. He hit my sweet spot and I arched my back. "AHHHH THERE AHHH MORE MORE AHH HARDER FASTER AH FILL ME UP WITH YOUR AHHH WARM CUM, SHIZUO!" I felt my climax coming and clenched up. He grunted. "Don't clench up so suddenly Izaya. I'm going to cum… AHHHHH!" "AAH SHIZUO I'M CUMMING AHHHHHH~" I felt his seed fill up my insides. We collapsed onto the roof. We were both panting and Shizuo was lying on top of me. I heard him whisper so quietly that I might have heard it wrong "Thank you, Izaya." "For what?" "Everything."

_Yeah... Sooooooo, whadya think? Probably not that great but I really love angst and shit. I didn't want to make it too elaborated (though it probably is for some people) so the beginning is starting without real reason for Shizuo to think that. I would have a mental breakdown after so many years. Like I said in the beginning: feel free to comment and to give me feedback. I would be hounored.  
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Hope you enjoyed,_

_SilverxEagle  
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